Andy Simmons is a features editor at Reader's Digest. Whos there? Then, use one of the witty comebacks listed above to silence them! What's a ninja's favorite type of shoes? 2.) If idiots grew on trees, this place would be an orchard. What did the full glass say to the empty glass? The redhead says it looks like cum. Whats worse than waking up at a party and finding a penis drawn on your face? .css-g0owdm{display:block;font-family:Memphis,Georgia,Times,Serif;font-weight:normal;margin-bottom:0.625rem;margin-top:0;-webkit-text-decoration:none;text-decoration:none;}@media (any-hover: hover){.css-g0owdm:hover{color:link-hover;}}@media(max-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 40.625rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.125rem;line-height:1.2;}}@media(min-width: 61.25rem){.css-g0owdm{font-size:1.25rem;line-height:1.2;}}Tom Selleck Reunites with Former Co-Star, 21 Shows to Watch If You Like Yellowstone, 'WoF' Fans Say This Is the Biggest Choke on Show, St. Patricks Day Trivia Questions and Answers, Adam Sandler's Wife Jackie Shuts Down Red Carpet, The Reason Hoda Kotb Hasnt Been on the Today Show, Kelsea Ballerini Fans Lose It Amid Career News, The True History Behind St. Patrick's Day, St. Patrick's Day Movies to Feel Extra Lucky. So they each go into the woods, find a bear, and attempt to convert it. When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Low flying airplane noises! Not being a retard. Have fun with some of these. Two men meet on opposite sides of a river. My mate says I'm getting fat, but in my defense I've had a lot on my plate recently. These office jokes are so funny, they'll make your day better or at least they'll take you away from what you're working on for a few minutes. Looking for some laughs today? Person 2: Who's there? Making love to a woman is like playing the violin. This one is both funny and clever because at first, it seems like a strange response but then it becomes clear that you are calling the question asker dumb. The infantry. I'm a helicopter! A friend of mine went bald years ago but still carries around an old comb. Is everyone else here a jerk? I dont know how to do it. 8. Ouch! 40. In any case, a witty comeback will put the other person in their place and let them know that youre not going to take their crap. Two girlfriends are hanging out when one spills coffee on her shirt. Short Jokes That Are Genuinely Funny: 1. 24. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. A dick in your mouth! He was in a jam. Must be none of your business then. To Who? We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. 38 Likes, TikTok video from Grace (@baltes33): "same ppl who still making the who asked n when did i ask jokes#him #he #fyp". When did I ask - slang Used when someone brings up something irrelevant or not wanted in a conversation. A trip without kids. What did the banana say to the vibrator? "Close the door, I'm dressing!". Viper07__ 3 yr. ago. See you next month. If at first you dont succeed, stop trying already. For days he kept leaving little messages around the house. Nobody asked you, either, but it seems that we all have to listen. In many cases, these and the previously-suggested formulas are no more than conversational fillers; the direct approach of just asking the question you want to ask often is a better thing to do. "What's the good news?". Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister.". Who Asked, Nobody Asked, and That's Crazy, But I Don't Remember Asking are expressions used to indicate a lack of interest in what another person has said or posted, similar to Cool Story, Bro. How does an octopus go into battle? "That . 100 Best Corny Jokes of All Time. A deodor-ant. Furthermore, he has teaching experience from Aarhus University. xhr.setRequestHeader('Content-Type', 'text/plain;charset=UTF-8'); We suppose you belong to those daredevils. A chipmunk. On February 4th, 2011, Neogaf user Kinyou [4] made a post in which they wrote that they could not get the line "I never asked for this" out of their head. Mental Style Project has been created as an outlet to guide you as you navigate through life, with the right tools and resources that will upgrade your life, enable you to take charge of your personal growth, and improve your wellness journey. I said you look fat in those pants. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" Why are you listening if you dont know who asked? 5. What should you say when someone says, Who asked?. But hay, its in my jeans. Your responsibility is to assess the situation and determine the best course of action. If a moldy dIck had a face, it would have yours . 10 Best Funny Riddles. Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car. When did I ask. The attorney tells the accused, "I have some good news and some bad news.". The waiter says, "What's with the pause?" 38. Because they're very good at it. What do you call a pig that does karate? I didnt ask for your opinion either, so why respond. "Whaddya mean?" What did the rock drummer call his twin daughters? dang i didnt know that ur so dumb u dont know the difference between answering and telling. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, Heres something I have that youll never have! if( navigator.sendBeacon ) { What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick? What do you call a hippie's wife? Also, sometimes saying nothing is the right response. Ask Google Assistant to go to a site in the Chrome app. How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant? 20. Carol Yepes/ Getty Images. Hey, just warning you: These lolable jokes should only be told among those who will accept your weird sense of humor: Whos there? So the next time someone tells you, nobody asked, just let them have it with one of these witty comebacks. When you have an app or website open in Chrome, ask Google Assistant to help you complete tasks, like finding a video to watch or searching for a message. } A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. You might enjoy: 24+ Clean Comebacks for Get a Life. A lip reader. What does a pig put on dry skin? *wink*. See ya! What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backwards? He told me to stop going to those places. Because he's got little legs. 30. Ivana fuck your brains out. (Think trolls) I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger, then it hit me. I don't think you should be happy. Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals? You could read it as seriously or as a joke didnt walk into the bar. If this made you roll your eyes, just wait until you read some of these dad jokes. Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma? Get ready to laugh with this Valentine's-themed joke: How did the orca ask the other to be their Valentine? This response works because it makes it seem like you dont really care what the question asker wanted. Such as bosses, future bosses, hopeful romantic partners, future in-laws, or random people on the street. Nasty knock-knock jokes: We give some joke weapons to outdo your buddies: Children interpret everything they hear their way. I don't know, and I don't care. How does a squid go into battle? A penguin in the washing machine. 50 Valentine's Day Jokes 1. Jokes with one of my friends about the communists in ww2 (Soviets) Ended up with him being somewhat offended or at the very least didn't understand the joke. "Are you gay?". He pasta-way. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. The bartender says, "Why the long face?". Whats the best part about gardening? Id be fine if there werent so much blood in my alcohol system. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. Martin has been featured as an expert in communication and teaching on Forbes and Shopify. Totally shocked. How do you make a tissue dance? Losing my virginity was a lot like how I learned to ride a bike. #challenge #experiment One looks at the other and says, You know how to drive this thing?!. The funny responses are more for getting a good laugh out of the group around you than trying to come out on top and seeming smart. Broomates. Because it said Concentrate on the side of the can. 7. "Catch up!". Robin you, now hand over the cash. Whats the difference between your job and a dead hooker? No, but I wanted to save you the trouble of thinking for yourself. You guys didn't like it. Apple Jokes. If a man talks dirty to a woman, thats sexual harassment. "Busted, now if you'll excuse me, I need to buy a pair of nice-looking men's overalls and Dr. Martens.". I wonder how many people are in that field. Whether youre in the middle of a heated argument or simply trying to have a conversation, it can be incredibly frustrating when the other person responds with a flippant did I ask?. Curiosity makes us go forward and develop our intelligence. Call and tell her about it. Why did the cowboy get a wiener dog? An impasta. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? I used to hate facial hairbut then it grew on me. What did the penis say to the vagina? "Dick jokes, if you craft something amazing out of them, could be the funniest thing someone's ever heard. Get out of here! shouts the bartender. Please tell me this train of thought youre on has a caboose. Exaggerations have become an epidemic. Why do vegetarians give good head? Dude, your dicks hanging out. When someone asks did I ask you, you have only a moment to decide whether to be clever or funny. The Best Dad Jokes 2023. The extra E in three and the missing R in error. The third error? "The bad news is, your blood is all over the crime scene, and the DNA tests prove you did it.". (Its three.). Why do bees have sticky hair? I dont think so. Usually, when someone asks did I ask you? they are not being genuine. This response is funny because it allows you to really make the question asker seem stupid and you much smarter than them. Explanation: Wait, did our copy editor fall into some cosmic wormhole? What's E.T. How do you make holy water? The other guy replies, "You're, What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? A maybe. Micro-waves. Beano Jokes Team. What did one plate say to the other plate? One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter. The husband, surprised, pulls his out. After five years your job will still suck. 50 Dirty Comebacks and Insults to Win Every Argument, 25+ Baddie Comebacks Thatll Slay Any Situation, 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. This is another funny response that makes the question asker seem dumb for not asking for your opinion on the subject in the first place. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. This is another funny response that will make the question asker seem much dumber than they already do. This joke makes light of changing churches. If I promise to miss you, will you go, like, really far away? Why don't male ants sink? It lightens the weights we carry in life, uplifts our moods, and bonds us to those we share in it with. 2. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? What did the card say when he didn't end up getting through the job interview? Whats a foot long and slippery? Why can't you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? Neeeooooooow! With a little creativity and quick thinking, you can defuse the who asked bomb and keep the conversation going. Sorry, I'm still working on it. * No, but this is more stupid than anything I might have said. What do you call a fake noodle? What do you call a bee that can't make up its mind? Me: *to the person I was talking to* Elementree school. Knock Knock. He didn't have the guts to ask anyone. What washes up on very small beaches? He wanted to get a long little doggie. But when played all at once, they form a C-minor chord. Unless youre just fed up with these types of comments and want to be rude. You might love your life, but I think it just wants to be friends. A limbo champ walks into a bar. Explanation: Dreipronounced dryis German for three. Neinpronounced nineis German for No. Dieser witz stinkt is German for This joke stinks.. You can also sign up for our newsletter so you don't miss out on what's next! Hmmm, I guess you can see how much I care over there (then point to an empty hallway or somethinh similar) then grin. What happens when a strawberry gets run over crossing the street? To get to the other side. When do we want them? READ THIS NEXT: 146 Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes Guaranteed to Crack You Up. In a hambulance. "No, I'm not, but don't take my word for it, ask your dad.". The other says, "I'm a big metal fan.". Well, I'm not going to spread it. Since 2017, over 500 new Campers have joined us across our three groups - Customer, Org, and Product - and we thought we'd share the laughter with you. Discover short videos related to did i ask jokes on TikTok. Well-armed. Whos there? What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Family Matters actor Marie Jo Payton details an on-set disagreement with Jaleel White. Me loving a good discussion ended up having a long disussion over the communists and now he and many others in our group believe i am a borderline nazi. Person . The Satisfactory. Why are YOU shaking? Why do oranges wear sunscreen? Read next: 32+ Sassy Comebacks Guaranteed to Silence Your Haters. Whats another name for a vagina? 9. You know there's no official training for trash collectors? A comeback said by mostly middle school boys when they know they have lost an argument but want the last laugh. Theres no menu: You get what you deserve. Because theyre really good at it. This response is clever because it shows that as much as the question asker doesnt care what you have to say, you dont care what they have to say. Fuck you said. 20 History Jokes We Dare You Not to Laugh At. said the man in the orthopedic shoes. The only answer is to have some responses ready in your back pocket, responses that you can read below. ), *stop what you are saying and say: "Wow you are rude, but I'm pretty sure asking "Who asked?" Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back? Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. For more information, please see our 1. A gummy bear. Embarrassed, and to spare her young sons innocence, the mother turns around and says, Dont worry. Explanation: Youd have to be insane to jump off a bridge and into the Seine, the river that runs through Paris. It is a pretty rude thing to say. Even if you love these clever jokes, youll still get a kick out of these anti-jokes. "Make me one with everything.". Sneakers. Or it is asked to someone who just said something that doesnt help whatever point the question asker was trying to make. Never mind, it's over your head. Ivana. This is a funny response that puts the focus on the other person. How is life like a penis? Now get ready to make some memories filled with laughter with these 70 hilariously funny jokes! 4. Now that youve cackled your way through these clever jokes, get your little ones in on the fun with these short jokes for kids. 69 with three people watching. Whats the difference between a woman and a computer? If youve ever been in situations where you say something, and someone says, did I ask and you dont know how to respond, these did i ask comebacks will serve you well. Originally Published: May 29, 2019 When kids want to laugh, they rarely turn to their math homework for jokes. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Q: What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Plus, when you get home and your kids ask what you did today, you can tell them you managed to sprinkle some humor into your workday. Every once in a while, we come across somebody who just doesnt seem to care about anything no matter what we say. Then why are you still talking? The priest started a fire in the fireplace and found blankets and a sleeping bag but only one bed. They've kept in touch after all these years. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. I don't know how I feel about that. Wanna hear two short jokes and a long joke? Once my dog ate all the Scrabble tiles. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I didnt say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you. More jokes about: church, men, money, priest, wife. Whats the difference between a girlfriend and wife? There's no menuyou get what you deserve. You might like: 22+ Witty Comebacks for Rude People. Explanation: Youve probably heard the saying If Ive told you once, Ive told you a thousand times. Well, consider this the math joke versionyou know, because math equations use letters in place of unsolved numbers. A deodor-ant. If you need so much space, theres always NASA. Why do geese fly south in the winter? The man. When Did I Ask Funny Joke Humor Sarcastic Humorous Sticker By plydia From $2.02 Seven Days without a pun makes one weak white T-Shirt Sticker By Newline store From $3.36 Forget About Princess I Want To Be A Zebra Sticker What did the buffalo say when his son left for school? Those are just contractions., Why the big pause? asks the bartender. I didnt ask you for a response and yet you gave one. Three guys go on a ski trip together. Airplane Jokes for Kids. The other girlfriend grabs a paper towel and goes to hand it to her friend, but she trips and elbows her bestie right in the boob. Well-armed. I couldn't figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Because they're really good at it. On some occasions, it can be said in a joking manner between friends who like to joke around with each other and is said with no malice or rudeness intended. Best trade I've ever done! Anticipation is the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions place to ask and answer thought-provoking.. Me a joke if you simply ask it to -- just say `` alexa tell. It can be used in a lot of contexts but usually, did I ask you? is more often than not a rhetorical question, with no answer being looked for.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[728,90],'grammarhow_com-box-3','ezslot_7',105,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-box-3-0'); The short answer is, yes. What do you get when you mix a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a ghost? I swear I wasnt lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth again. Keep up with Mlanie on Instagram, Twitter and melanieberliet.com. You know youve got a high sperm count when she has to chew before she swallows. Ones pretty heavy and the others a little lighter. They saw an abandoned log cabin and went inside. "Go to [site name]" "Open [site name]" Search in your apps or websites. 3. The answers to this and other funny why did joke questions here. Explore the latest videos from hashtags: #whendidiask, #whendidweask . What did the mother rope say to her child? Dinner's on me. Want more laughs? Its a win-win! You boil the hell out of it. Fssh. 48. Her face was flush with love. It needed help figuring out its problems. A crane! I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. How did the hipster burn his mouth? What did the policeman say to the bank robbing skunk? An impasta. 18. 8. A slipper. or, the ultimate classic, Knock knock? 45. What did the left eye say to the right eye? But hilarious jokes never go out of style. A buccaneer. What did the dog say when it sat on some sandpaper? Oinkment. How did a card's friends know she was enamored with someone? What is red and smells like blue paint? Whats a adult actress favorite drink? "no one asked" I would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize. What do you call a teenage girl who doesnt masturbate? The difference between "Ooooooh" and "Aaaaaah" is about three inches. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? This obviously isnt working out. I hate it when I go to hug someone really sexy and my face smashes right into the mirror. They went up by a, Two cows are grazing in a field. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. So youre the only one? 43. One shouts to the other, "I need you to help me get to the other side!" The other guy replies, "You're on the other side!" Answer: Audi Question : What is the quickest way to speed . Because they're always stuffed. Why was six afraid of seven? There is the attention you were looking for. Sometimes did I ask you is said in a joking manner and a funny response would be appropriate after that. A Master Baiter. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? Ok. (and then continuing usually does the trick). A chicken sees a salad. Cause your face looks kind of funky. Why did the math textbook visit the guidance counselor? According to Mason, expose them to as much as possible and that includes jokes. So theyd have at least one way to shut a woman up. Did you hear the one about the roof? Whats the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Knock knock. Which will often come across very rudely. Oral sex makes your day. What do you call an expert fisherman? Just another reason to moan, really. How do you throw a space party? What do you call a pig that does karate? Last updated: Feb 09, 2023 Jokes and Riddles For Kids and Adults to Solve. Submit your best joke here and get $25 if Readers Digest runs it. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. A pork chop. Did you hear about the cheese factory that exploded in France? Now that youve learned 101 new short jokes to share with your friends, check out these classic Laffy Taffy jokes that will sweeten everyones day. Fuck you said who? But if you're a math teacher or a parent trying to help your kids (keyword: trying) with their math homework, you know a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered. What do you call a rooster staring at a pile of lettuce? Do you love hearing jokes? 6. What did one light bulb say to the other light bulb on Valentines Day? About. Are you an adult? Become the master of pun by memorizing some of these why jokes. When When When When When. Read up on more bar jokes that are hilariously funny. You wait here, I'll go on ahead. How do you open a banana? Did you hear the rumor about butter? There were two goldfish in a tank. If you see me laughing, its because I already have. Dont miss these hilarious egg puns that will absolutely crack you up. Because they are so lavable. Assuming that the average lifespan of all these people was 25, there has been around 2.7 trillion years of life, if we multiply this by the number of days in a year (365), there is a total of 985,500,000,000,000 . No, you did not, but everyone makes mistakes. Check the 2nd part of "Funny, Stupid & Hilarious Jokes" . But, first, what do people mean by did I ask you?. Well it's your lucky day, because we've got . Smirking, the first friend replied, "Oh, c'mon I'm just tittin'.". What did the big flower say to the little flower? Just-in. How do you organize a space party? Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?" Explanation: This works on a couple of levels: as wordplay (genes vs. jeans) and as scientific fact (genes can determine body shape). Think Im sarcastic? A funny response can be to pretend to not understand the question. But these clever jokes offer something special: In addition to making others laugh, they make you sound smart. 50 Brilliant Sarcastic Jokes That Will Crack You Up When You're Feeling Snarky By Mlanie Berliet Updated February 10, 2022 1. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Take my advice its not like Im dumb enough to. What did the monster eat after it had its teeth taken out? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks. He's all right now. Life without women would be a pain in the butt, literally. What do you get from a pampered cow? That way, when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and you'll have their shoes. What do a guy and a car have in common? In the middle of the night, the guy on the right side of the bed wakes up and says, Wow, I had this mad dream I was getting a hand job. The guy on the left side of the bed has also woken up and says that hes had the same dream, too. By making him one with everything, the hot dog vendor is connecting him to a spicy dog, mustard, and sauerkraut. The fact that there are only two errors. Cereal. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer), Do Not Sell or Share My Personal Information. Just be careful: You can send some of these memes as a message to the right person: Whats 6 inches long, 2 inches wide, and drives women wild?